I love the fact that I can order an interesting snack food from a country on the other side of the world and have it show up at my home in a few weeks.  It is a testament to the power of technology and how the internet has brought all corners of the globe closer together.

Also.

I hate the fact that I have to order and interesting snack food from a country on the other side of the world and have to wait weeks for it to show up at my home.  It is a testament to the laziness and lack of creativity at American snack food companies.

I know I have waxed on before about the lack of interesting flavors available in the U.S., especially with regards to chips, be they corn or potato, so I won’t go too much into it again.  And the fact is certainly not lost on me that there could not be more of a first world problem than me complaining that I can’t get junk food in the flavor I like fast enough.

“You could flash fry a buffalo in forty seconds.”
“Forty seconds?  But I want it now.”

But everyone needs a hobby and complaining is mine.  I don’t understand why the American arm of Doritos doesn’t do anything interesting with their product.  No bizarre flavor experiments.  No weird limited editions.  Nope.  Just the same old business as usual.  How many Cool Ranch Doritos can one man eat in a lifetime?

I can’t buy that even a one-month limited run of Clam Chowder Doritos or Grilled Chicken Skewer Doritos or even Squid and Soy Sauce Doritos (all real Japanese varieties!), wouldn’t completely sell out in the U.S.  I would buy all three, and I never buy Doritos!  Sure not everyone would love them, but many people would.  And the rest would still try them at least once, so they could tell their friends.

The nosegrope upon opening the bag is a little fishfoody, worrisome, but the chips themselves are not overly fishy.  When I was a kid, my mom banned Doritos from our house because she claimed they stunk up the place. But it has been my experience that Japanese Doritos never go overboard with the amount of seasoning.  It’s there and it’s good, but it won’t knock you out.   The finger remnants are very manageable.

Let me assure you that your local grocer would have no problem unloading a pallet of Clam Chowder Doritos.  Novelty aside, they taste good.  As with all weird flavors, the go-to test is the Blind Flavor Identification.  I would guarantee that most of your friends could identify these as clam chowder.  The flavor is surprisingly authentic.

Also, if you’ve never had any, Japanese Doritos are a little denser that their U.S. counterparts, and they have rounded edges, because rounded edges are just classier.  These are part of the Doritos Gourmet line after all.  And yes, Doritos Gourmet.  I know!

I recommend these without reservation.  You can get them on the internets.  I got mine at NapaJapan.  They’re a fun flavor.   What I enjoyed most was mentioning them to my friends and associates and having them go slack-jawed and wide-eyed while repeating the flavor back to me in disbelief.  I would simply nod knowingly, as if to say, “Yes.  I am way cooler than you.”  But sadly, because of flavors like this, none of us will never be as cool as Japan.

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