INT. A HIPSTER COFFEE SHOP DOWNTOWN – DAY
Enter PEANUT M&M’s to find ALMOND M&M’s and ME holding hands across a table, staring intimately into each others eyes over espressos.
PEANUT M&M’s: What is this?
ME and ALMOND M&M’s turn.
ME: (startled) Oh…ummm…wow…. I uh…Peanut M&M’s this is…
ALMOND M&M’s: (she stands and reaches for a handshake) Hi, I’m Almond M&M’s.
PEANUT M&M’s stares, crosses her arms across her chest, doesn’t shake hands, and looks at ME.
PEANUT M&M’s: So when were you planning on telling me about her.
ME: (obviously flustered) I…look…I’m sorry…things just kind of happened. I was going to….
PEANUT M&M’s: Forget it. (she starts to tear up) Just forget it.
PEANUT M&M’s turns and heads for the door. ALMOND M&M’s starts after her to apologize. ME grabs her arm.
ME: No…just…let her go.
EXT. A BUS STOP BENCH – DAY
PEANUT M&M’s is sitting at a bus stop in the rain. Yellow candy shell coloring is running off into the gutter. We follow it down the street and into a storm grate.
Looking back, it was inevitable really. I remember eating candy-shelled, chocolate-covered almonds when I was a kid, around Easter time. I thought they were M&M’s. Turns out they weren’t. They were those weird pastel impostors that were pretty good but didn’t quite taste like M&M’s.
Apparently, Almond M&M’s were an on again off again seasonal product until they were called up to the majors and put into regular rotation in 1992. I had no idea! How did I not get my hands on them until now?! So much wasted time!
M&M’s does them right. The ratio of chocolate to shell to almond is perfect. They are delicious. But with great taste comes great responsibility (or something). Only about a dozen or so come in a regular size pack because they are so much larger than Peanut M&M’s (some of them are downright enormous). That’s frustrating as I only bought one pack. Don’t make the same mistake I did, kids. Two packs are the way to go.
I’m sorry Peanut. Sometimes these things just don’t work out. We had some good times though didn’t we?