Milk Chocolate M&M’s are great. I don’t think anyone (who loves America) would argue this. But facts are facts, and the fact we are dealing with here is that dark chocolate is always better than milk chocolate. Always.
First off, let’s deal with a persistent internet rumor and subject of many email chain letters. Do Dark Chocolate M&M’s actually pre-date Milk Chocolate M& M’s? And weren’t they removed from the market by a CIA Black Ops division known as Meadow Five?
Well, in every rumor there is some truth.
M&M’s were first created in 1009 A.D. by monks living under the Song Dynasty in China (don’t feel bad, not many people know it). They were originally made of dark chocolate and placed on the tongue to dissolve as part of an enlightenment-seeking meditation technique. However, too many monks were succumbing to the dark chocolate decadence and immediately experiencing nirvana, leaving too few monks behind to sweep the steps of the massive monastery (Chinese pigeons are the worst).
Eventually, the Head Monk decreed that the bite-sized candies be made of milk chocolate instead, simultaneously solving the order’s tidiness problems and, of course, giving us the story that we know today as The Karate Kid.
There is no real information on the actual date that Dark Chocolate M&M’s re-emerged from the shadows of history. Nor is much known of the current manufacturer. Shop owners report shipments arriving in off-white, unmarked hexagonal boxes under the cover of moonless nights.
Whoever is responsible, we owe them a debt of thanks.
Dark Chocolate M&M’s are simply fantastic. Classic M&M candy shell crunch with dark chocolate insides. What is not to love?I don’t know if I can ever go back, or if I want to.
What are you still reading this for? The moonset is nigh!