I don’t think any other candy reminds me of my childhood quite like Jolly Ranchers. They were cheap, sweet, and portable. I loved the small ones and adored the long flat stick ones. I remember riding my Huffy down to the Swati Mart convenience store on the corner with a pocketful of dollars I had earned through hard work and determination (read: begged my mom for) and loading up with a few handfuls to get me through the weekend.
I’d pocket all but one, which I would eat while playing a few games of Street Fighter 2 on one of the two arcade games the store had. Jolly Ranchers were a delicious consolation as my games lasted, on average, less than 6 seconds. Stupid Dhalsim and your extending arms! And E. Honda with your 1000 hand slap. That’s so cheap! I hate you! Crappy joystick won’t even recognize my quarter forward motion! How can I fight without a quarter forward motion?! My fireballs!
So I found these Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews at the dollar store the other day and knew I had to try them. I also had the suspicion that I would like them. And I did. They are delightful. All of the sugary goodness of Jolly Ranchers with instant chewable access (think Starbursts). No waiting around, fighting the temptation to bite down on the impossibly unbiteable.
I was sometimes frustrated as a child at the time it took it took to enjoy a Jolly Rancher They are a slow burn and require some patience to enjoy. Remember when you accidentally swallowed one and it was only halfway dissolved? Oh the humanity!
The green apple, watermelon and cherry flavors were delicious and had me waxing nostalgic for the carefree days of my youth. Blue raspberry, I was not really a fan of. Admittedly, I have never had a blue raspberry in classic Jolly Rancher form before. I don’t get blue raspberry. There are no electric blue raspberries in nature. Things that are that blue frighten me (I’m looking at you, Smurfs).
The variety pack was highly enjoyable, but if they ever start making single flavor packs with watermelon or green apple, you just might find me passed out on the side of the road, bright green tongue hanging listlessly, sugardosed, and twitching involuntarily.