Sometime last week, while plumbing the depths of the Twitterverse in the wee hours of the morn, I came across a tweet mentioning a chocolate powder inhaler.  Needless to say, my curiosity was piqued.  I have long held the belief that, in the future, all of our foods will be provided in inhalable powder form.  I already have a patent pending for something I like to call a “Beef Cloud.”  Go ahead and laugh, they mocked Doc Brown, too. 

I found the Le Whif website and started exploring.  At first I thought it was just a novelty, like that sour goo test tube stuff or Slim Jims.  Not actually meant for regular consumption.  (Screw you Slim Jims.)

But I eventually decided that, yes, it was a real food, so I ordered a pack from a local (ish) candy store.  Risky I know.  Middle of the night snack ordering can be a fickle and highly regrettable mistress.

I’ve been waiting all week, fantasizing, rehearsing my speech for when I’m recognized as one of the pioneers of the breathable food movement.  All hail king of the mouth breathers!  Ok, I’ll have to work on that.

 My little slice of the distant future arrived today and I couldn’t have been more excited.   The packaging is great.  Simple. Dark brown and silver.  Silver: always an indicator of a brave new tomorrow.   I opened the box up and found three little brown inhaler tubes.  Adorable.  I gave the directions a once over and dove right in.

The moment of truth.  I took a whif.  Nothing.  Ok I must’ve done something wrong.  I reread the box and primed the tube again.  Ok, there was something that time.  I think.  Take three.

Now we had some action.  What I was expecting was a deliciously sweet, powdery burst of chocolaty goodness.  What I got was a few specks of something that tasted under-sweetened and overly plastic.

The taste of the powder was not good.  I needed more sweetness.  If you aim to bypass the joy of eating chocolate, then your powder needs to be pretty fantastic.  And it just wasn’t.  Le Whif makes a point to call attention to the biodegradability of their inhaler tubes. I don’t know if this technology has yet to be perfected or what, but my chocolate powder definitely tasted of plastic.  If I want to eat plastic, sirs, I’ll have a Twizzler like everyone else, thank you very much. 

Another thing that bugged me was that it didn’t seem like they perfected the powder delivery system either.  The powder is dispensed from two narrow slits at the top and bottom of the tube.  Nothing came out of the top, it just plopped out of the bottom.  The burst I wanted was more of a pfft.  There must be a better way to get the chocolate puff to disperse.  But they haven’t gotten there yet.

What about the cost?  Eight whiffs per tube.  Three bucks per tube.  Three dollars for eight whiffs!  Do you know how much chocolate I could get for three bucks?  Good chocolate at that.  A lot more than a fairy fart’s worth of powder, I’ll tell you that.

I wanted to like this product.  But I’d have to say the Le Whif Chocolate Inhaler is an all around FAIL.  Not an enjoyable experience at all.

Sometime the future doesn’t arrive as quickly as we’d like.  Someone else will take a shot at a product like this and do it better.  Maybe that someone will be one of you, kids.   Believe in your dreams. 

Until then, you’ll just have to keep accidentally inhaling the white donut powder like the rest of us.