Check this bad boy out.  Title Sports Drink (or Title Run Sports Drink, I couldn’t really figure out how the Run fits in).  When I saw this on an end cap at a local drug store, I did a double take.  I didn’t know why exactly, but the shelves of drinks stopped me in my tracks.  Then I realized why.  I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a sports drink that wasn’t Gatorade or Powerade.  I’m sure they are out there.  I’ve just never seen one in the wild. 

I looked it up and apparently Gatorade and Powerade control 95% of the sports drink market.  Well, there you go.

These were on sale, three for three dollars.  Maybe not a great sign. But I thought maybe they are new company and just want to move some product. Fair enough.  Turns out that Title is part of a beverage company based out of Miami, Florida.  Miami is only four hours down the road. I’ve lived in Florida my whole life and have only been once.  As I could stand to lose a few pounds, am really not too attractive, and have all my original parts, Miami is not my most favorite of places.  So my enthusiasm was low going in.

One of the big selling points (or gimmicks) on Title’s line of sports drinks is that they contain a special blend of “72 ionic trace minerals.”  I don’t know what that means exactly, but I do know that numbers above 70 are the Fonzies of numbers.  Ok, it means each bottle contains more electrolytes than the leading brands.  According to their website, that’s twice what Gatorade offers. 

Another major selling point is that the drinks are “All Natural.”  When I think “all natural,” I think something like HOTLIPS soda and an ingredients list that is filled with things I could go to a store and buy.  Title’s got some phosphates and acids and citrates.  In my book that’s a push, at best.

So how does it taste?  I’m not going to lie to you Marge.  It’s not good. 

I don’t enjoy diet drinks of any kind.  Mainly because of the taste of the sweeteners they use.  I don’t like them and I don’t like the gross aftertaste they leave behind.  Title is flavored with Stevia extract, which I didn’t know I couldn’t stand until now!  It’s gross.  The artificial-tasting berry flavor and sweetener is run-of-the-mill standard for this type of drink.  Title seems like a diet drink that is not being marketed as such.  I certainly didn’t have that impression when I bought it. 

If you like diet sports drinks, then maybe you’ll like Title .  The taste is nothing new, but I guess the science is.  I mean it has 72 ironic face generals.  

According to this article in the Chicago Tribune, the company is making a big push towards conquering local markets by pimping the product in area high schools.  If there is anything high school kids love, it’s second tier products!  I wish them luck.  They have lofty aspirations.  But I think if you want to try a bottle, pick up some soon.  Eventually Gatorade will put out a product with 73 iconic brace perennials that will taste better, and this company will go under faster than you can say cheap-looking logo.

I’ll leave you with what is on the back of the bottle:

“Our name means something.  Because when it comes to electrolytes and hydration, we hold the Title.”

That title is World Champion of Slightly Below Average.

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