I love Walt Disney World. A Lot of people don’t, what with the price gauging, not paying its employees a living wage, and consumerism run rampant. But I can’t help myself. I am fascinating by the whole process of Imagineering. I love the rides, the themes, the details, the queues, the hotels, the monorail (who doesn’t), everything. I only living 90 miles away, so it’s a good spot for quick weekend getaways or just a day out. If you also enjoy the Disney World, and you haven’t yet read it, pick up a copy of Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow. It’s great.
So anyway, a few months back I headed over to the Magic Kingdom with the intent of proposing to my girlfriend. It was one of the first places we ever went together, so it seemed a good idea. Everything worked out, and we are now firmly planted in the hellish nightmare that is wedding planning.
As we trundled about the park, dehydrated. dazed, and slightly annoyed (always a sign of a good day at the parks), I kept looking for weird Disney foodstuffs to review. I didn’t really find anything absurdly unusual, nothing like the Pumpkin Juice or Coconut Ice from the Harry Potter Park we visited the day before.
After a cool down session in the Hall of Presidents, which became a Who Can Cheer Louder Contest between George W. Bush acolytes and Obamaphiles, we ducked into a little general store in Frontierland. And there it was: the Mickey Fun Bar. There’s certainly nothing over the top about it. It’s surprisingly understated for a Disney product. I mean there aren’t even any LEDs on the package, and nothing spins or sparkles. It’s just milk chocolate, caramel, and peanuts. But I couldn’t resist buying it, as it is called a Fun Bar.
“Hey kids! Do you like fun? Well this is the funnest candy bar you’ve ever had! Ask Mom and Dad for a fiver. You might even get enough change back for one of the smashed penny machines!”
This is as you would expect it to be. It’s slightly better than ok. It won’t change your life. However, I can imagine if you eat one on a scorching central Florida afternoon to recharge your spending and queuing batteries, it might be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
It’s a dense bar, packed for calorie recovery. The milk chocolate is decent, the caramel is really thick and chewy, and the peanuts are many and peanuty. It tastes good. It’s not quite an off-off-brand product you’d find at a dollar store, but not quite as good as a top tier bar. It maintains that minimum standard of Disney quality where you find it good enough that you’re bothered by the fact you spent $3.50 on it, but not outraged. I think most of the Disney experience is based on that principle.
So next time you fund yourself in the Magic Kingdom and you need a break from all of the sweaty, bare-armed large people invading your personal space, find yourself a Mickey Fun Bar and enjoy it begrudgingly.