Part 1: In Which Our Hero Finds Himself in a Crisis
I am about to turn thirty-one years of age, and I think I am in the middle of a life crisis. I’m not sure if I should call it mid-life or third-life. Actually I really hope it’s a tenth-life, if the prophesies of Ray Kurzweil and the coming Singularity are to be believed.
So as with any life crisis, I’ve been delving back into the things from my youth that used to bring me joy. I’ve watched nine WrestleManias and the first season of Roseanne. I’ve been playing a lot of Double Dragon II and Super Spike V’Ball for the NES. And I’ve been listening to tons and tons of ska and neo-swing.
Part 2: In Which Man-Panda Love Is Explored
During a previously mentioned trip to the local Asian food market, I came across a variety of delightful snack products that I thought would be fun to sample. One of those treats was a box of Hello Panda Biscuits with Choco Cream. They sounded delightful, and with the promise of “New Sports Printing,” I just couldn’t resist.
Basically these are little shortbread cookie shells filled with chocolate (well, “choco”) cream. Though, I wouldn’t say filled, exactly, because there was still a bit of non-filled airspace in each.
On each shell, is printed an adorable panda bear participating in a variety of athletic activities. And I don’t mean your noncute sports like baseball and soccer (which are represented), I’m talking about some seriously cute pastimes like windsailing and kayaking. This panda is living life and will make you want to try a little harder this weekend.
My only gripe about the sports printing is that, occasionally, you’ll find a cookie with the open hole left from the filling dispenser right smack in the middle of the cute panda’s forehead, making it look like he was the unfortunate victim of a shooting during a spirited round of table tennis. It can really ruin your afternoon.
But that is indeed my one and only complaint because I am in love with these things! The biscuit and filling are perfectly complementary and make me very happy. I could eat them by the truckload! I want to fill a swimming pool with them and swim through it like Scrooge McDuck. I want to stand with them on a mountain. I want to bathe with them in the sea. They are little bite-sized pieces of choco heaven, so good, in fact, that I will even forgive the fact that I am eating choco.
Part 3: In Which Our Hero Needs Your Help
Hello Panda Biscuits with Choco Cream taste exactly like something I used to eat when I was a kid, which has further exacerbated the (fraction still to be determined) crisis. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out what that snack is! I’ve been racking my brain with each bite and have come up with nothing. I don’t think that they were filled cookie shells. I’m guessing they were just straight cookies, but I am not sure. So if anyone out there knows, PLEASE let me know! I haven’t slept for days.