I don’t know a lot about golf, but what I do know is this: Arnold Palmer has a drink named after him.  It’s been around for quite a while, and somehow I managed to miss it until recently when I discovered a version of the drink listed on a little placard at my table at Sweet Tomatoes.  The drink is called an Arnold Palmer and it’s half iced tea and half lemonade.

Legend has it, and by legend I mean an “article” written by some guy for Arnold Palmer’s magazine, that he ordered the drink after a long day of designing golf courses in Palm Springs (poor guy).  Someone overheard him, ordered the same, and whaddaya know, now it’s everywhere.  I wouldn’t believe it, but it’s right there on the internet.

He shills the stuff himself now and has partnered with AriZona to sell big tall cans emblazoned with his wrinkly old man face.  Now that I’m aware it’s a thing, I see the stuff everywhere.

Sugar, water, lemon, and tea have been around for quite a while.  I make iced tea by putting tea into water.  Then I put sugar into the iced tea.  Finally, I put lemon into the iced tea.  Don’t worry if you didn’t get all that, I can email you the recipe if you want.  But you see my friends, Arnie’s genius comes from putting the lemon and sugar into the water in a separate container, and THEN pouring it into the iced tea.

Boston iced tea is half tea and half cranberry juice.  It’s called Boston iced tea because the person who invented it (I’m assuming they lived in Boston) just liked to drink cranberry juice and iced tea, and no putter wielding jackass has tried to claim it as his own.  Come on Arnold, you’re maybe the most famous golfer in history who isn’t Tiger Woods.  Isn’t that enough?  You ordered a drink made up of other drinks.  You are not a refreshment genius, you are a self-aggrandizing old coot. You didn’t invent this drink, you stole it and put your name on it.

Which is why I love the fact that Peace Tea stole the stolen idea and even kept the golf angle (hopefully for spite).  I’d like to think they have the same level of disdain for Arnold Palmer as I do.  Caddy Shack Peace Tea doesn’t say “half iced tea and half lemonade,” it just says “tea + lemonade.”  But they are driving for the same hole, decking out their cans with happy golfers enjoying the good life, and carefully avoiding classic comedy infringement by adding an all-important space between “Caddy” and “Shack.”

The stronger flavor is the lemonade.  It’s quite enjoyably refreshing and doesn’t overpower or pucker.  The “100% natural tea” is not even mildly strong, nor is it overly sweet.  Caddy Shack is sweetened with both sugar and sucralose.  While I am an avowed opponent of sucralose (I administer nightly corn syrup IV’s before bed), there is only enough here to make its taste barely noticeable.  I like this stuff a lot, and as it was my first Peace Tea, I’m looking forward to trying other flavors.

Tomorrow I’m going to grab an Arnold Palmer AriZona for comparison, but even if it’s better I’ll never admit it.  The war against Arnold Palmer must begin here and now.  Rest up and charge the golf carts. For tomorrow WE RIDE!

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