Let’s talk about famous bings.
Bing Crosby. Born Harry Crosby. Nicknamed Bing as a child by a neighbor because of a shared passion for a parody newspaper about hillbillies. Has starred in a ton of movies. Many are considered classics. I have not seen one of them. Entered my periphery through his Christmas album which my great-grandmother owned. Later entered my lexicon through Clark Griswold’s hilarious freak out in Christmas Vacation, which I can repeat verbatim on command.
Chandler Bing. Also known as Miss Chanandler Bong. Iconic sitcom character played by Matthew Perry. Sarcastic foosball enthusiast. Works as an IT procurement manager (transponster) specializing in WENUS and ANUS. Arguably the funniest character on Friends. Entered the consciousness of every living human being who existed in the 1990s.
Bing. Microsoft search engine. Best known for pioneering the hybridization of web queries and tropical beach backgrounds.
Bing cherry. Wild cherry cultivar originating in the Pacific Northwest in 1875. Named after orchard foreman Ah Bing. Delicious.
My wife bought me this can of Bing Energy Drink for Christmas. She said the can looked cool, so she bought it. I agree. I like the can. The color. The logo. The layout. All great.
Bing Energy Drink, as you may have guessed, is centered on the cherry. It contains 5% actual cherry juice. Commendable in itself. The drink is sweetened with cane sugar, and each 12 ounce can will only add 40 calories to your daily recommended intake. That’s pretty impressive, though it comes at a price. More on that in a minute.
The drink is packed with some of the usual suspects: taurine, caffeine, ginkgo, ginseng, and the B’s 2, 6, and 12, among other extracts. It’s got a nice kick.
I really like the taste of Bing. The cherry flavor tastes refreshing and authentic, and is delightfully free of the cherry artificiality that we’ve all come to know and tolerate. The balance of sweet and tart is perfect. No sugar shudder. No sour pucker. This is good stuff.
So, what about the 40 calories? Sadly for me, the cane sugar is fortified with sucralose and acesulfame potassium. I loathe these compounds and their lingering, filmy aftertaste. However, the rest of the Bing experience was so good, I’ve just decided to ignore the horrible ending. Like the first Superman movie.
If you don’t mind sucralose and acesulfame potassium, and you love cherries, this is your drink. If you’re not fan of artificial sweeteners, pick up some Bing anyway. The aftertaste is a mintably fixable situation. There’s no reason to let those two jerks ruin an otherwise great drink. Like the Salkinds ruined Superman II.