Recently, a UK reader named James asked me if he could send a box of British snack food to Food Junk Studios. Obviously, I jumped at the chance. The British import shops around here are shite, so it’s hard to get my hands on anything that’s not a bag of Walkers Crisps or something Cadbury (both good, no intended offense). And also, I generally believe that the British are superior to Americans in almost every conceivable way. I base this on no research whatsoever save the fact that all of the British people I’ve befriended in my life have been infinitely cooler than me.
The first thing that caught my eye in the treasure trove was the striking design of this can of LOL O Ranj carbonated fruit juice drink. Huge emoticon smiley face to grab a kid’s attention. Text speak because that’s how the kids talk nowadays. Bubbles on the can because soda has bubbles and kids go Pavlovian crazy over soda. And “O Ranj” because, well, I don’t actually know about that one. “Orange” is for squares daddy-o! I suppose.
According to my internettings, I think this drink might be Australian in origin. I think the company is based down under but the drink is made in the EU. Possibly. I’m a little confused about the whole thing.
But if it is Australian, that’s close enough because the queen’s still on the money. Do I capitalize queen? Also, I begrudgingly like the Australians, too. Every one of them I’ve ever befriended has been infinitely more attractive than me. That includes an acquaintance who was so good looking that my sister’s mouth literally hung open when she first met him. Jerk.
The can runs as follows:
- 75% Fruit Juice with Fizz
- One portion of fruit
- No added sugars (26g in there anyway (the can doesn’t say that))
- No added preservatives
- No artificial sweeteners
- No artificial colours
- No caffeine
It also seems to have gained the approval of a couple of, what I think are, organizations that approve semi-healthy products for Aussie school lunches. Do we have organizations like that in the U.S.? I’m pretty sure we trust Frito-Lay with those kinds of decisions.
I’m a little forlorn, as a few recent summer trips to the mobility scooter demolition derby that is Walt Disney World have not left me with high hopes for the health of this country’s children. Either way, my school serves pizza twice a week, so clearly we’re not onboard with any watchdog groups.
The drink is murky like a nectary type drinks. And it’s not very vibrant looking, what with the lack of artificial colours and all. It’s just sort of a sad shade of orange. The opaque can is a good choice.
LOL O Ranj is 58% apple juice concentrate and 17% orange. Despite the placeholding apple juice, orange is easily the dominating flavor. It’s not great by any means, but it’s not bad either. It’s very drinkable. Certainly not like the despicable Krazy Kritters. If I found this in my lunch every day, I wouldn’t hate my parents.
Overall, not a bad first foray into the Big Box of British Treats, even if it is possibly Australian. I’m still not sure. The only EU I know about is the Star Wars Expanded Universe. I know.
But seriously, the Darth Plagueis novel was pretty awesome.