I am not a manly man.
I am a man, certainly. I have all of the requisite parts and more than enough body hair thanks to the Serbian half of my family. But I am not manly, per se.
I don’t watch the sports. Automobiles do not excite me. I’ve never engaged in fisticuffs.
On more than one occasion, a person has accidentally touched my hands and remarked how alarmingly soft they are.
I have a small but respectable collection of Department 56 miniature, Victorian Christmas village houses.
And last week when trying to hang a shelf (for my collection of Masters of the Universe action figures, ladies), it took me three tries and about a dozen wall holes before the thing was level. Though I’m glad to report that that was one try fewer than my previous effort at hanging a shelf (for more of my Masters of the Universe action figures, ladies).
A part of me envies those guys. The ones who can build things with wood. And who can use fire to stick metal to metal with other metal. And who can grow thick luxurious mustaches. And who haven’t seen every episode of Felicity.
But I am not one of those, and probably never will be. And I’m ok with that. The world needs delicate philosopher internet gentleman imaginists, too!
However, on occasion, I have been known to man it up. If the mood strikes me, I will put on my athletic pants and toss around the old flying disc. And just the other day I watched an entire quarter of the Super Bowl. It was delightful.
So this week, I’m keeping that residual testosterone flowing with a beer review! A beer that comes in an amazing pink bottle, but still, a beer.
Last year, Rogue Ales of Portland, teamed up with Voodoo Doughnuts of Portland and released their Bacon Maple Ale, a beer modeled after their famous Bacon Maple Bar. While I didn’t love it as a beverage, I did love it as an astonishingly accurate feat of flavor engineering.
This year, the Portland duo has teamed up again and released a liquid version of Voodoo’s Memphis Mafia doughnut. It is this Chocolate, Peanut Butter, and Banana Ale. That name alone. Come on. High hopes.
Popping the top of the pink bottle yielded a pleasant banana nosegrope. Not too in your face, not too artificial. There is also a hint, A HINT, of chocolate happening somewhere in all that banana. After a frothy pour, the banana nosegrope really gets unleashed from the head. Chocolate be damned.
High hopes dashed. The taste is not as superbly fashioned as I would have hoped. A strong, slightly sweet malt flavor dominates the tongue, followed by more of those banana notes hinted at in the nosegrope. Chocolatey? I don’t know, there are some dark, possible coffee-ish notes, but I wouldn’t call them chocolate. Maybe a hint, A HINT! Definitely not as much as other chocolate-infused brews I’ve had. And as for the peanut butter, forget it. I couldn’t find any anywhere.
Overall, this is a pretty mild, smooth, drinkable beer. I was disappointed by it, but I liked it. It’s not as freakish or novel as the Bacon Maple Ale, but also, not as interesting. I was wondering how all of those flavors were going to present themselves when I first heard about this release. That would have been a pretty miraculous feat indeed. But they gave it a shot, and I look forward to next year’s release. Maybe it will be their Miami Vice Berry or their Cap’n Crunch doughnut. Fingers crossed.
For now, I’m excited. I’m excited that I now have two awesome pink monoliths in my kitchen. And I’m excited because I’m a man. A man who drinks banana-flavored beer from a very pretty bottle, but still, a man.