I like Europe. Granted I’ve never been because I still have crippling student debt, chose a career where I’m paid in Expo markers, and have a genetic inability to save money. But I’ve seen Europe on the TV and I like it. It’s like someone took the idea behind EPCOT and upsized it to an entire continent.
They’ve got good stuff in Europe. England has Spaced. France has crepes. Germany has Kraftwerk. Greece has an overly inflated sense of self-importance. Italy has chauvinism. And Slovakia has hostels where people are killed with power tools.
They’ve also got tasty sweets: Cadbury, Ritter Sport, Milka, Ferrero, and a million others I’m not nearly cool enough to know about. Today’s topic for reviewance is Ferrero’s Kinder Bueno. A pair of bars so good, they combined two languages to creepily name them “Good Children.” Or, if you prefer (and I do), “Children Good,” read in your best Eastern European cavemen voice.
I picked these up at a British market that is unfortunately located just far enough away from my home so as not to be convenient for any kind of regular patronage.
A Kinder Bueno is made up of a hazelnut cream-filled wafer covered in milk chocolate. There are two bars two a pack and each bar is individually wrapped. Now you know they are made in Europe when you get two bars in a pack and they are individually wrapped. There is not an American food executive in the world that would even dream of selling a chocolate bar in United States that seemed to encourage you to have one and maybe save the other for later. If this were conceived in the US, each bar would be the size of a Duraflame log, branded as Xtreme, and sold with a coupon for a gallon of energy drink.
This chocolate confection is a delight! A delight! The wafer is light and crisp, the hazelnut cream is smooth, and the chocolate is good. They are not overly sweet, nor is there too much of them.
And you know what? I think I will save the other bar for later, thank you very much.
I love these, and had I easier access to them, they would definitely find themselves in the regular rotation. If you happen to see some stateside, pick up a few. You’ll be glad you did. And if you’re in Europe and can manage to escape your shackles and ball gag, run to safety, enjoy the one you’ve been saving, then go back and kill that guy.