Let’s just get this out of the way right at the top: Yes, they named a candy bar after me.  And yes, I will accept your congratulations for me being the first person in history to make that joke.  And yes, you have my permission to use that joke at your next social or workplace gathering.

The people at Annabelle Candy Company were kind enough to send me a box of Big Hunks and Rocky Roads to review on this humble blog.  They showed up at my doorstep a few weeks ago, and thanks to the caring hands of the United Parcel Service, they were mashed and melted nearly beyond recognition.

I must admit I’d never heard of either of these candy bars until I actually saw them boxed in front of me.  All of the samples were very edible, but sadly there wasn’t one that lived up to the high photographic standards we have implemented here at Food Junk Studios.  So the hunt began to find a local joint with a supply to replace these.  I haven’t found a Rocky Road yet, but through the official Big Hunk locator I learned that these were only available at a chain of bass fishing stores in central Florida.  Which I believe is not a failure in distribution but an ingenious masterpiece of Dadaist installation art.

Not willing to go to a fishing store of any kind, I happened upon some Big Hunk at a new candy/makeup/photography boutique that opened up down the road.  Yea, it’s a real place and it’s adorable.

Big Hunk has been around since the 30s, the decade that brought us some other truly fantastic things like swing music, the Universal monster movies, and Superman.  It is a chewy, honey-sweetened nougat bedazzled with roasted peanuts.  I shamefully admit that I didn’t exactly know what nougat was either.  But a quick Wikipedia search learnified me that there are three varieties of nougat, and Big Hunk falls into the “white nougat” category because it is made with egg whites.

Annabelle provides two sets of directions for eating a Big Hunk.  You can microwave it for ten seconds to soften things up or you can smack it against a counter to break it into smaller pieces.  Now I am against both candy radiation and confectionary violence, so I opted for just going at it with the incisors that evolution gave me.

Big Hunk is a thin two ounce honeyed slice of vanilla-ish, peanutty heaven.  It provides the most satisfying chewing experience that I have ever encountered.  It’s tough to get a piece to secede from its candy bar union into your mouth confederacy, and the first few chomps are difficult, but once things get going, the nougat softens quickly into a big hunk (ooooooh I get it!) of awesomeness.  It’s not sticky either, just chewy, so my molar canyons didn’t require any tongue re-dredging.  That’s always a plus.

I am a big fan of this old-timey treat.  If you’ve never had Big Hunk, you should try and find it.  Just ask for directions to your town’s nearest camping emporium or gun warehouse.

I really don’t know how you all have been throwing your 1930s parties all this time without these.  Those Mike & Ikes you’ve been serving are shamefully anachronistic.