Last night was the opening ceremony for the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.  I freakin’ love the Olympics!  They are a fleeting glimpse into the utopian world we could have if we all could get away from our nonsensical ideologies and just hang out together and do fun things.  Plus I get to be an expert in platform diving for two whole weeks.

I thought the opening ceremonies were great, especially the big grassy hill and the rising of the industrial revolution.   And the forging of that giant Olympic ring!  How awesome was that?!  Seriously.  You can compare the London ceremony to Beijing all you want, but London put on the whole show without the use of forced human enslavement or human “repurposing.”  Little known Olympic fact, all of the volunteers at the Beijing opening ceremonies were euthanized and later fed to athletes in the Olympic village.  General Tso’s is people!

I thought Danny Boyle did a great job as creative director.  His stuff is always solid.  The Beach is a wholly underrated film.  And Millions is a wonderful little gem that a lot of people haven’t seen, but should.   And Sunshine!  Sunshine is an amazing piece of sci-fi that I would love to watch again in all its Blu-ray glory, if not for the fact that my defective piece of crap Sony Blu-ray player won’t play the movie without also playing the video commentary over it.  And as of the last time I rage-checked the internet, there was no fix forthcoming.

As I’ve mentioned before, I generally have no interest in sports.  I don’t get the appeal of millionaires being worshipped for playing children’s games for giant companies.  But to each his own.  however, I do love international competitions, and the Olympics and the World Cup are the only sporting events I get excited about.  Country battling country!  It’s so tribal and pure.  Sure “battling” may be a little strong when we’re talking about a very spirited round of whatever the hell handball is, but still.

I root for the U.S., obviously, but I’m usually ok with any country winning any event as long as it’s not Italy.  Thankfully their Olympic program has never recovered from the outlawing of Competitive Pairs Chauvinism at the 1924 games.  Now they are only really competitive in Noodling and the Men’s Individual Chest Hair Medley.

So I thought in honor of the games of the thirtieth Olympiad, I’d review something from the U.K.   So here we have a Yorkie bar, a very uncomplicated “chunky milk chocolate” bar currently made by Nestle and originally marketed to men. At one time, the tagline “It’s not for girls!” was emblazoned right on the wrapper.  Ah the old timey sexism of yore.

This bar tastes like the Cadbury Dairy Milk bar.  It’s smooth, kind of rich, and pretty sweet.  Not really a lot to say about it except that it’s good.  The larger chunk segments are satisfying, and one piece provides a good fix.

But fair warning!  You should steer clear ladies!  It may be too much for you.  We all know that old stereotype about how women don’t like to eat chocolate.

Come on.  I find such sexism demeaning and inappropriate.  Marketing a chocolate bar to men?  And doing so insultingly?  Calling women girls? Why would anyone do that?  That’s the worst idea since televised women’s basketball.

Haha!  He sticks the landing!

Candy

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July 29, 2012

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