Sometimes in life, things happen that forever change the way you see the world. Events so profound, that they shake your very foundation. Events so beautiful, so sublime, that you wonder how you even lived your life before them. It could be the first time you kissed your true love. The first time you saw your child’s smile. The first time you were nuzzled by your best furry friend. You suddenly realize that there’s been a hole within you, the exact shape of these events.
These events are revelatory. They inspire tears. They inspire joy.
Today, my friends, we are here to discuss one of these events.
You can now make Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuits at home. I’ll allow you a moment to collect yourself then I’ll repeat that.
You can now make Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuits, arguably the greatest food that has ever existed, in the comfort of your own home.
Yes. Dry your eyes.
This paradigm shifting product was first brought to my attention a few weeks ago when a Twitter friend posted a picture of it on his feed. Well, needless to say, I was excited. Certainly, I am not a crazed Red Lobster fanatic. I’ve eaten there many times because like you, dear friends, I have old people in my family, and occasionally they have birthdays. I also have students who, despite being around me for an hour a day, for as many as three years, don’t really know what my actual interests are. Some people bash on Red Lobster, like they do the Olive Garden, but I think both restaurants are fine for what they are. People have to eat.
Anyway, I took to the web and discovered that these were available at Sam’s Club. Sadly, I am not a member of Sam’s Club because I live in a small apartment, and it’s hard to find a place to store a small apartment-sized box of Club Crackers in a small apartment-sized apartment. Later, I found out that, like everything, you can buy them on Amazon. But by then a work associate picked up a box for me, so here we are.
These biscuits come with some assembly required. You have to add a little water, some cheddar cheese, and then melt some butter to mix with the garlic seasoning powder to brush on after baking, but these are small prices to pay for a fleeting glimpse of the divine spark that lies hidden behind the harsh reality of existence.
These biscuits are fantastic. They are indeed faithful recreations of the biscuits sold at the Red Lobsters all across this great land. They are garlicky and cheesy and salty and delicious. The only flavor missing is the slight dash of lemon cast about the top of each biscuit. But it’s not a big deal. The handful of parsley flakes is missing too, but who cares? You can add that if you really have to.
This is one of th0ose products that I can’t believe wasn’t put on shelves eons ago. Cheddar Bay Biscuits are really popular. They are the stuff of legend. Whatever Red Lobsterian it was who decided to take the mix out of the restaurant kitchen and put it in stores is a genius. I’d like to shake his claw.
If you’ve never been to a Red Lobster (where do your elderly celebrate birthdays?), you should really do yourself a favor and pick up a box of this mix. Each box makes around thirty biscuits. Perfect for sharing with friends at your next get together.
Or for covering yourself with while lying in a bath tub listening to Otis Redding’s “(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay” on repeat. Which I will be doing immediately and until my blood turns to salt crystals.
Food Junk 
I FLIPPING love this mix. Between these and the TGIF’s potato skins you can make at home, I could just become a hermit.
Whoa. I’m gonna have to check out these potato skins.
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Check your local wal-mart if you have one. They sell the small 10 biscuit box.
Thanks for the heads up!
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I don’t so much have a problem with Red Lobster so much as I have a problem with them existing here on the Gulf coast where you can get, you know, actual fresh seafood. If you’re in Des Moine or St Louis, hey, why not? But if you live near the coast, it seems a little like going to Oaxaca and eating at Chi Chi’s (do those still exist?).
Haha, good point. And I remember ChiChis. I drive by a spot where on used to be everyday. It’s been like 700 restaurants since then.
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I worried that the mix wouldn’t be as good as the restaurant version. I was wrong to worry. The home baked were better. They seemed lighter and were hot out of the oven. I ate five (5)of them at home, in one sitting. THIS is the reason we won’t buy them except for a special occasion. The same reason we don’t bring potato chips into the house. We will eat them… And eat them and eat them, etc.
they are the best biscuits ever, unfortunately, very unhealthy! Buy them, but limit yourself. For people without much willpower, I suggest only baking half the bag. Buy them, you will not be sorry!
I’ve got the other two bags from the bulk pack sitting the pantry. They should be under lock and key.
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I had no idea this was sold in stores! These biscuits are my favorite.
They are the best. So bad for you, but THE BEST.
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This is amazing! I’ve been to the USA quite a few times and never tried biscuits before. I have to be honest I didn’t even know what they were. That was until September last year when I finally found out and it just so happened to be Red Lobster biscuits. They were AMAZING! That said, I did think Ruby Tuesday biscuits were ever so slightly better but nonetheless I will be trying to get this mix on import!
Sooooo good.
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Would somebody be willing to send me or post here the directions on the back of the box? My aunt gave me one of the bags and a seasoning packet, but not the instructions!